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7/16/2004

enTrY #006 ::a heartbReakIng woRk of neON::

<< ThE rain'S fallinG ouTside >>
eVerythINg is gloWinG neON...
I'm thInkINg of daVe eggeRS...
I'm thinKinG a heaRtbReakIng wOrk of StaGGeRiNg genIus
aNd I feeL sad...
noT exaCtlY bluE, foR it denoTeS coLDness; the daMp chiLL oF the graVe...
I'm thinKing kinDa melancHOLy...
I'm thInkIng crawLing frOm a vodKa baR, orgaNs floatinG in aN absinThiAN cocktaiL...
iT's coLD. tHE sun's riSING...
a junKy puLLs hiS cheaP jaCket uP arouNd hiS sineWy , diseaSed fuckiNg limBs....
god I lovE thE dawN...

swiRling, swiRLing.
I'm suffocaTinG.


hey, foLks, did yOU hear diaNe saWyEr scoRed THE excLUsive wiTH ScoTT peTerSon.
TheRe WaS sHe > coiFFed > blonDe > boToxEd > aSkinG the queSTioNS...
TheRE waS hE > coiFFed > darK > mysteriouS >
manaCleD bY ouR suspiciONs aNd hiS oWN fuckinG obviouS vaniTY.
What giVes here?
TV & alleGed muRdeReRs sliPPing beTweeN the SheeTS togeTHer.
let's dO awaY with the juDiciAl sYStem...
Let's confINe the couRTrooM tO thE fisH eyE Lens..
LeT the peOple decide...
wE don't need nO law degRee oR 'metHOd' schOOl of aCtiNG pretendER..
ENTERTAINMENT > sHe's the 21sT cenTuRY HeiDi FleiSS...
whEre's SadaaM? sorrY, el Presidente..
hoW sliCk diD he looK iN his desiGner thReads?
::maSS muRdeR:: a meRe hobbY to him, my frieNDs.

the raiN's slowINg noW.
TheRe's hardLY a souND.
tHe freaKs aRe hittINg the paVements ...
I'M thinKIng eggers again.
goddaMn him > hiJackINg my thouGhts liKE thiS.


iS he right though?
I meaN, hiS philoSopHy on liFe.
How doEs it Go agaIN...
That's riGHt...
"Really, what's to gaIn fRoM sayINg that the niGht only groWs darker aND that hopE lieS cRushed uNDer
the jackboots of the wiCked? What answeRs do we haVe wheN we arriVe at the irreducible realizatioN
tHat there iS no salvatIOn in lifE, that sooNer or later, despiTE oUR beSt hoPeS and moST ardeNt dreaMs,
no maTTer hoW mucH wE woRk towarD ouR variEd ideaLS of immortaLIty, inevitaBly tHe seaS will
boiL, eviL wiLL ruN rouGHshoD oVer the eaRTH, aND the planET will be leFt a playgrOUnd in ruiNs, fiT
onLY foR cockroaChes aND verMin."

suCh beauTifuL poeTry fRom the mouTh of onE so gliB.
he's like, so, naKed.
he's like, so the caTharSIS foR hiS generAtiON.
whERe do yOU get off < duDe > beiNG so fuckIng taLented.
So fuckINg ambitiOUS...
Let mE beaR your childRen...
LeT mE taKe youR haND > leaD yOU intO darKer pasTuRes...
Let's moloToV the geNe pOOl.
creaTe a nEw legiON of heartbreakingly, staggerinGLy beauTifuL creaTures.
Let's moRpH inTo a thouSanD thOm YorKe sPeCtreS...

i'm thinKing tHat I LOVe eVery momeNt of liFe.
< pale aND fragMenTed > bruTaL anD suBliMe >

# transmission ends #













7/15/2004

enTrY #005 :: retiNaL melTdoWn::

>>... Psst: do yOu dO you haVe a moMent ?... >>

okaY...that's good...
steP a little cloSer...
huSh...really... it's okay!
Is the glaRe of the scrEEn beginniNg to warM your retinaS?
oR do yOU preFer tHe chiLL of silEncE, anD the shaDows of a darKeneD rooM?
IS silenCe eVeR, reaLLy fuckInG preFeraBle?
dO you drIFt thRouGh liFe liKe the eterNal sleePwaLker?
dO yOU eVeR feeL the straITJaCkeT tiGhteNinG?
do yOur liPs aChe trYinG to suPPreSS a sCreaM?
DOES ANYTHING EVER, TRULY, TRULY SHOCK YOU NOW?

>> tHe glaRe of reaLity iS too HarSH >>
tuRn iT down.
tuRn iT doWN.
I waNt to juMp oFF.
pASS the absinThe.
i WanT to drOwn in hEr sweeT nectaR 24/7....


i wiTneSs maDness froM behINd cloSed cuRtaINs.
aVeraGe JoE infiltraTes suRBuRbiAs of genoCiDe.
:: hanDyMen wHo weiLd chaInsAWs & speaRgUnS & ploT theIR aVeraGe wiFe & chiLd's deMiSe::

seriOusLY ... yOU didn'T thiNk I waS joKing diD yOu?
i saW suCh a psychoPath oN tV reCentLY...

aLL halO & cuRLs....
TurNs oUt hiS aVeraGe-6-moNth-pRegnaNt-wIFe-&-toDDleR-dauGhteR-haD-goNe-miSSinG.
The predaTorial TV netwoRk paraSites caMe knoCkiNg a shorT tiMe later....
goddamN it!
Give him hIS priVacY...
hiS despaIR...
hiS grieF...
leT hiM mouRN.

FLASH TO NEWS REPORTS:
SO THERE HE STOOD
:: PLEADING ::
:: SHEDDING THE ODD TEAR::
:: HIS ANGUISH PALATABLE::
"COMe HoME...cOnTaCt Me," he moanEd.
GODDAMN HIM!

wEEks laTER... a coNFessION.
heY, wouLdn'T yOU knoW iT
Mr cleaN-cuT JohN dOe soaKed iN roYal-blUe caBleknIt juST haPPenEd to muRdeR hiS famILy.
fuCkiNg pSyChoPath!
sO, a crIme of paSSiON you maY thinK...
Hardly likEly.
This dudE had stYLE and paNaChe in hiS homicIDal meltDowN.
:: A CHAINSAW. A SPEARGUN::

i waNt to scReaM riGht noW.

FootnoTe: A monTh laTer ThE froNt paGe of the nEwspapEr reveaLed a maCabRe scEne;
foreNsiC expErts kiTTed in lateSt desiGneR thermoNucleaRweaR siftINg thrOUGh a ruBBish duMp
knoWn as 'deviLS beND'... seeking the DNA and/oR the hacKed remaInS of the latest casualties in the suburbaN maritaL turfwars...

i waNt tO be sicK.
NO.
i waNt to waKe uP.
wHat doeS desensitiVitY trULy, truLy feel liKe?
Is it a diseaSE?
Is it subtLe?
Is theRE a diagnoSIS?
Is theRE a cuRE?
I onLY waNt to fEEl the warMTH of loVe oN my baRe boNES.
giVe mE the warM gloW oF a loNE LiGHT...
reaChinG oUT inTo the darKNEss...


# traNSmiSSioN ends #